Another Hockey Season Ends--Fire and Ice in Vancouver--But The Zamboni's Still Rock Connecticut

Kind of a sad rough ending to the holiday season. I have to admit I stopped paying attention when my NY Rangers were unceremoniously eliminated in the first round. Hopefully they will stick with the youth movement and not start trading for old washed up superstars like they normally do when they start getting good. I think a lot of Americans were surprised about all the rioting that occurred in Vancouver after the disappointing result by the hometown Canucks--I know when I talk about hockey to a typical American, their eyes start to glaze over in about 15 seconds. But as most fans know, if you finish with the best record in the NHL in the regular season, you probably will be eliminated in the first round. Hockey is an unpredictable game--the puck takes funny bounces during a long rough physical playoff series.

But now that it's over, we can relax, regain our composure, and start preparing for next season. And what better way to deal with the long summer off from professional hockey than to listen to some good old American-style Puck rock.

The Fans all go insane....

And the Number 1 Hockey band south of the 49th parallel is of course Connecticut's own Zambonis, a clever bunch of hockey obsessed guys with musical chops and a great sense of humor. While I moan about the Rangers not advancing in this years playoffs, these guys have still not recovered from the loss of their Hartford Whalers (they are now the Carolina Hurricanes). And as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to music and sports, hockey is the best medium by far. Sure, you have your proponents of  badminton, curling, and chess punk. You even have the legendary Madras golf punks, The Divots, from North of Beantown. Some people like wrestling and rock (kudos to The Cramps take on "The Crusher") or those rap songs put out by 300 pound pro football players right before the Super Bowl. Give me my hockey rock any day.

The Zambonis are Dave Schneider, Pete Katis, Jon Aley, Tarquin Katis.

A perfect introduction to the group is the 7 song Ep, Play-Off Fever!, which showcases the bands abilities to play in a variety of styles. The first song is the excellent Avalanche!, a hi-energy tribute to the ex-Quebec Nordiques, the upstart team that would soon hold Lord Stanley's Cup! They quickly segue into the Band-like country of Great Zamboni of Devotion. A love song!--could anything be more romantic than comparing your girl to a Zamboni? Or the mustard on your knish? Then its off to the world of the moshpit, with the hardcore tune Lost My Teeth.

But the boys save the best for the latter part of the disc, first of all with their plea for hockey safety, C.C.M. P.S.A. (The Helmet Song).

Hey, Craig McTavish
You've got a lot of hair on your head,
But if you lose your balance,
You just might end up dead.

But if you wear a helmet
You'll be fine
And if you wear a helmet
It'll be alright.

As you can see, this band has filled a basic gap. As is often brought up in the academic world, hockey is one of the few topics William Shakespeare didn't live long enough to adequately cover. After the novelty instrumental/ dance number, Here Comes The Zamboni!, they really come up big with Hockey Holidays, which ought to be played in heavy rotation throughout Canada in December. A lesson maybe some of those crazed Canucks fans could take to heart.

All I want for Christmas
Are some brand new shoulder pads
To protect me from the enemy
when he cross checks me really badly....

So lets remember its December
before we drop the gloves
Even goons like yourself
Deep down... need to be loved.
So lower your high stick,
and remember jolly old St Nick

Hey you big idiot!!
Happy Holidays
Hockey Holidays...




And like any self respecting hockey tribute group, they end with the mighty Hockey Song by Canadian troubadour, Stompin' Tom Connors. They begin the song with a country twang, but with each chorus, the music gets faster, louder and more frenetic. Maybe not the equal of The Hanson Brothers Ramones avatar take on the tune, but nonetheless, well played, well played.

If you are a music loving hockey fan, you will fall over when you hear their music. Just don't get too excited and start rioting. Their official website has all kinds of crap on it, t-shirts, discs, even a Zambonis' cowbell. In addition to the Ep, they have put out two worthy full length albums, 100% hockey and other stuff, and More Songs about Hockey... and buildings and food. So check these guys out--get out of the alley and back out onto the ice.

This post goes out to my friend, the King of All Goons, the only man Tony Twist ever called "Sir".



Hingis Hatin Hockey Hooligan