Belgium's Elvis Costello Full of Crepe: Plastic Bertrand Scandal

Hula Hula Hula Hula Hula Hula Hula Hula Hoop!

Tell me it ain't so!!! First Milli Vanilli and now this. What a merdestorm! I am reeling. Well maybe not so much. The voice of a generation. I was just going to a little semi-jokey post on this compilation album, when I found out that international recording artist Plastic Bertrand is embroiled in a scandal. It seems that he has admitted that he did not sing on his first four albums, including his international hit Ca Plane Pour Moi (famously sung by Sonic Youth with Pepe Le Pew French lyrics). Apparently a producer and co-author of Ca Plane Pour Moi, Lou Deprijk, was the actual singer. They made a voice comparison of the 1977 recording of Bertrands hit and a version recorded by Deprijk in 2006 and found that the voices were the same. Bertrand later made the admission after initial denials.

Belgium is a wonderful place I visited a few years ago--a great place if you love great beer in all its diverse forms. The best chocolate I have ever eaten was bought at Pierre Marcolini's in Brussels. Gastronomically a great place with the delicious mussels and hearty stews. Fantastic art museums and a country with a real love of cartoons and animation. Bruges is like a city from a fairy tale. In the movie Death Warrant one of my favorite movie scenes of all time Jean Claude Van Damme gets conked in the head with a gigantic wrench after he calls out the main bad guy. Now it just saddens me to see on youtube the video of angry locals tearing down the huge statue of Plastic Bertrand that dominated the Place Royale. Yet their most famous tourist attraction, the commemorative statue of an adolescent Ozzy Osbourne peeing outside the Alamo, still stands defiantly.

Je Sais Bien Que Tu L'Adores--Bambino,Bambino!
Et Qu'elle A De Jolies Yeux-Bambino, Bambino!
Mais Tu Es Trop Jeune Encore--Bambino,Bambino!
Pour Jouere Les Amoureux--Bambino,Bambino!

King of the Divan is a mostly silly anthology of disposable pop, but in light of the current scandal it's not like I feel like this music could be more of a sell-out than it already was. There are a lot of silly novelty songs, and a few good tunes like the aforementioned  CPPM, Bambino and Le Petite Tortillard. Most of the songs run the gamut of marketability from Gallic 16 candles nonsense, sappy ballads, updated 50's music, to dance music and even bad rap-funk.

But if you want to hear Jacques Cousteau, a french language Major Tom, Hula Hoop, or the Abbalike Telephone a Telephone, this is the place to go. Or if you want the rap funk speak of Stop Ou Encore,Sans Amour and Gueule D'Amour or the Gary Numanesque man machine workings of Tout Petite Le Planete. A lot of this fall under the moniker "so appalling it's good, stupefy your friends and family".

On a more serious note, if you want to hear some pretty good french stuff, look for Belgian punks the Kids, the French garage punks The Dogs, Bijou, or Les Thugs (mostly english language) who put out a few records on Sub Pop. If you have an interest in learning a little bit about the country, check out Luc Sante's Factory of Facts. If you like beer, pick up Garrett Oliver's Brewmaster's Table, which has a whole chapter on Belgian beer. And most seriously, my grandfather's brother was killed over in Belgium during WWII in a skirmish prior to the Battle of the Bulge and is buried over there. To this day wonderful people still take care of his grave and other young men who died tragically at that time. And even though I never got to know my uncle, I can only have warm feelings for the people of that country.